I have delayed in writing this post although I'm not really sure why.
My wife and I separated in November 2010. I was devastated and so was she. Together we had destroyed our marriage and it appeared that there was no turning back, no way to fix the mess.
I struggled greatly for months. I didn't want to end our marriage but it looked like it was going to happen. I looked everywhere in the secular world for help on rebuilding my marriage. I found some "quick-fix" websites, some psychological "tricks", and some "legal threats". All had "testimonies" attached with raving positive reviews. They didn't sound right to me. So I thought I was done.
The I turned the whole matter over to God. I'd like to say that God immediately brought my wife home and reunited our family, but that didn't happen. There were months and months of prayer. There were days upon days of fasting. There were endless, sleepless nights. There was pain and suffering. I hurt deeply, as I know my wife did. Yet, nothing looked any different. The divorce was still pending and the final court date was approaching.
I knew that God had a plan which was so far better than any I could come up with. But I just didn't understand what it was. That was when I "gave up" and laid myself, wife, kids, family, and marriage all at the foot of the cross. My prayer was "God, I will pray for my wife and marriage to be rebuilt until I die. If I must die without seeing the restoration, then so be it. But I am laying it all at the foot of Jesus' cross and taking my hands off worrying about it. I give it ALL to You, for You are God and I am not."
I wish I could say that God immediately changed things at this point. But He did not. But He had changed who I was, and He had changed what I was. I was closer to Him than ever before. I had come to a point of peace, beyond all understanding.
The final court date was approaching and the lawyers were gathering all the paperwork to split up what we had left. I at this point had stopped thinking that God would stop the divorce, but never stopped believing that he would somehow rebuild our marriage.
Then, out of the blue, suddenly and unexpectedly, I received a late-night text from my wife. All she asked was if I was still praying for our family to get back together. Without thinking I wrote back, "Yes and I'm not stopping". It was at that moment that I felt God telling me "Your prayers have been answered. Now it is time to go to work."
So much has happened since that text in June of 2013. All of what has happened has God's hands all over it. He brought my wife and I back together with our children under one roof. The divorce has been dismissed. We are working on rebuilding our lives and marriage and family. It is ALL from God and it is His blessing. We will be celebrating our first Christmas together in three years!!!
This post isn't to give you a "plan" or "roadmap" of how to restore your marriage. It is only to point you in the direction of Our Father to work in your life and marriage and to allow His plan to prevail. It is also to encourage you to persevere, for I was once where you are today, hurting and praying for restoration. My marriage is evidence that God can do anything if you will only allow Him.
I am praying for you and your marriage.
Be blessed.
