I have been thinking about how Jacob must have felt when he was told that his favored-son Joseph had been killed by an animal. How he was devastated by this terrible news. He felt as though he could not go on living. But we know that God had other plans to use Joseph mightily for His purposes. Joseph didn't want this. He faced terrible conditions and treatment - slavery and prison. But he rose above all of it and later, as we know, he became a great and powerful instrument of salvation, used by God to benefit many.
The following is a post I found online that speaks to this:
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There is a story about a man who was the sole survivor of a ship which sank at sea. He was able to make a small raft of some of the ship’s cargo and eventually drift to a desert island. There he constructed a make-shift shelter and lived on what little food he had been able to salvage from the wreckage. Time after time he had attempted unsuccessfully to attract the attention of a passing ship. Finally, he saw a ship approaching more closely and hurriedly set a signal fire ablaze. To his dismay, the ship passed by and was quickly fading from sight. Accidentally, sparks from the signal fire set the thatched roof of his shelter in flames, and the man watched hopelessly and helplessly as all of his provision burned to ashes.
All was lost, he reasoned, and life could not last much longer. Suddenly he noticed that the ship which had passed him by was turning around and approaching the island more closely than before. To his great relief, he was seen by the crew and rescued. Once on board, the grateful survivor went to the captain of the ship to express his thanks. “But what caused you to turn around after you had already passed by me?” he queried. “Why, we saw the signal fire you made by setting your shelter on fire,” the captain responded.
The very thing which seemed to seal the doom of this marooned man was the means of his delivery. What seemed to spell disaster for him became an instrument of his salvation. That is precisely the case with Joseph and Jacob in Genesis 37. A tragic and cruel event occurred which, to Jacob, brought his world to an end. Life was hardly worth living, he reasoned, because he had lost the one thing which meant the most to him. But in the end, the loss of Joseph for a period of years was the means God employed to save the nation from starvation and, worse yet, from a loss of purity by being absorbed into the culture and religion of the Canaanites.
The emotional intensity of the events of the life of Jacob and his sons is difficult for us to appreciate. We come to this 37th chapter of Genesis in much the same way as we would watch the video replay of a week-old football game. We know the outcome of the story. We know that Jacob was in error when he later cried out, “… all these things are against me” (Genesis 42:36). Only in the throes of crisis or tragedy can we fully appreciate what Jacob is experiencing in this chapter.
**Taken from "Jacob, Joseph, Jealousy, and a Journey to Egypt (Genesis 36:1-37)" By Bob Deffinbaugh, from the series: "Genesis: From Paradise to Patriarchs".
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How can we relate all this to standing? From my prespective, it is relatable to our journeys in many ways as we might just be in the position of both Jacob and Joseph, as well as the man on the island. We are much like Jacob in that we have lost our wife, our love, our favorite person, initially left to be sorrowful and wondering if we can go on without them. We mourn our loss and are initially devastated.
We are also like Joseph as we have been put on a journey that none of us want to take. It is uncomfortable, painful, seemingly endless. Just when we feel like things may have improved, we are again thrown into our jail cell of circumstances. But if we persevere, as Joseph did, maybe, just maybe, with prayer, shifts in attitude, confidence and trust in Our God, we can arise from it all. Joseph rose to stardom, to great heights, and was used by God as His instrument to save.
It is my belief that part of my stand is to pray for my wife's salvation. I often think "if I don't pray for her, who will?" So I see myself as an instrument of salvation for my wife. I initially felt like a divorce would "seal my doom", but I have changed my thinking a bit. Maybe this adversity is like what Joseph had to go through. Maybe my wife has to live as the prodigal son lived before returning. As for the other part of my stand, I am like the man marooned on the islandwho had a fire destroy his means of survival - maybe a separation/divorce was the very means of delivery for ME - to bring ME closer to God, to listen to God's call, to change my old ways of living.
The end of their story brings joy to both Joseph and Jacob. Joseph got his family back and Jacob got his most-loved son back. Yes it took many years. But they finally rejoiced together. Is "standing" for our wives also like the story of the man who was on the deserted island? Just as he thought things looked their bleakest, there was a sudden turnaround (both figuratively and literally)! I would venture to guess that if you are reading this you have also made changes to bring yourself closer to God. Maybe like me, this has been a means of delivery for you too - being delivered to Our Lord and used for His purposes.
Remain hopeful. Be encouraged. Yes, we mourn like Jacob, but he went on living. Persevere through adversity as Joseph did. It is my belief that a separation/divorce may just be the means of delivery of salvation for the standing husbands, for our wives, and for our families. In that way we are instruments of God's salvation.
