Standing in the Blazing Furnace (Daniel 3)

In Daniel 3 the Bible tells the story of three men,  Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who would not worship as king Nebuchadnezzar ordered.  The king had ordered all members of his kingdom to worship a statue of gold at an appointed time and those who would not do so would be thrown into a blazing furnace.  But Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego refused to follow the king's order.  The king was told of their refusal:

¹²"But there are some Jews whom you have set over the affairs of the province of Babylon—Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego—who pay no attention to you, Your Majesty. They neither serve your gods nor worship the image of gold you have set up.” Daniel 3:12

King Nebuchadnezzar was very upset when he was told this:

¹³Furious with rage, Nebuchadnezzar summoned Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. So these men were brought before the king, ¹⁴ and Nebuchadnezzar said to them, “Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the image of gold I have set up? ¹⁵ Now when you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipe and all kinds of music, if you are ready to fall down and worship the image I made, very good. But if you do not worship it, you will be thrown immediately into a blazing furnace. Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?”

¹⁶ Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. ¹⁷ If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. ¹⁸ But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

¹⁹ Then Nebuchadnezzar was furious with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and his attitude toward them changed. He ordered the furnace heated seven times hotter than usual ²⁰ and commanded some of the strongest soldiers in his army to tie up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and throw them into the blazing furnace. ²¹ So these men, wearing their robes, trousers, turbans and other clothes, were bound and thrown into the blazing furnace. ²² The king’s command was so urgent and the furnace so hot that the flames of the fire killed the soldiers who took up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, ²³ and these three men, firmly tied, fell into the blazing furnace.  Daniel 3: 13-23

In our walk to stand in the gap for our spouses, going through a divorce or seemingly unending separation, it often feels like we have been thrown into a blazing furnace.  So many things are in turmoil in our lives and the lives of our family.  We suffer sadness, depression, loneliness, and heartache.  We suffer with financial issues and running a household alone.  We suffer from uncertainty, guilt, shame, and abandonment.  We feel as though we have been bound because we are powerless to stop a divorce from happening.  Yes, it is a blazing furnace of obstacles.  A furnace that has been heated 7 times hotter than when we were with our spouses.  One could be consumed by it all if one were to give in.

But lets look at what happened with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.  
 
²⁴ Then King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, “Weren’t there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?”
They replied, “Certainly, Your Majesty.”

²⁵ He said, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods.”  Daniel 3:24-25

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego had put their faith in God.  They were not going to bow to the demands of the world over God.  They were willing to give their lives rather than give in to the suffering sure to come from the blazing furnace.  And the fourth person in the furnace, the Son of God, walked with them and protected them. 

The God we serve is able to deliver us too.  But even if He does not, we must not give in to what the world pushes on us, namely divorcing, moving on, stop praying for restoration or, stop praying for our spouses to return to the Lord.  This is part of our furnace, but the Son of God is with us as well.

A standers walk is not easy.  It is like being in the furnace.  But, like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, if we do not give up on God, we will also walk with God and be unharmed by it all.

Persevere though your furnace through faith in God and prayer.  The furnace of divorce or separation cannot harm you when the Son of God is with you. 

And do not forget, in the end God saved those who would not give in.

When God Seems Silent

There have been many times in my stand for my marriage that I have asked God to speak to me - to let me know that what I am doing is what he wants me to do; to let me know when this will end; to show me a sign that will tell me that progress is being made.  Sometimes I do get a response, either through His word, or sometimes through other outward signs like things I see, or in conversations with others.  But then there are other times when it is just silent.  Either I'm not getting it, or He isn't speaking just yet.  It is during those times when my stand has been most challenging.  I begin to wonder, "Is this really what my life's purpose is?", "Did I imagine that God gave me this task?", and so on.  It is difficult.  I have heard from others as well that this happens to them.  Of course it does.  We are humans.  We operate on earthly time, not on God's eternal time.  We long to see something, anything, to keep us going.  We get to the point where God's promise isn't enough anymore because we aren't used to not knowing when something will happen, or at least not being able to make something happen.  We were designed by God to be this way.  Maybe so that we can develope trust in Him and Him alone.

An example of a time when someone wasn't being answered by Jesus is found in Matthew 15: 21-28.  This is the story of the Canaanite Woman.  For historical background, at this time Jesus is turning His focus toward the Gentiles because the Jewish leaders were becoming more strongly opposed to Him.  John the Baptist had been beheaded.  Jesus fed the 5,000 (proving He could meet the needs of the Jews) and then walked on water (proving Himself once again to be Lord).

Jesus Meets the Canaanite Woman

²¹ Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. ²² A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to Him, crying out, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession.”

 

²³ Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to Him and urged Him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.” ²⁴ He answered, “I was only sent to the lost sheep of Israel.”

 

²⁵ The woman came and knelt before Him. “Lord, help me!” she said. ²⁶ He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to their dogs.” ²⁷ “Yes, Lord,” she said, “but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.”

 

²⁷ Then Jesus answered, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed from that very hour.
(Matthew 15: 21-28)

 

Jesus must have known He was going to come in contact with this woman.  But why go there just to ignore her?  Clearly this woman was not about to give up.  What a great example of perseverence.  Here was Jesus, whom she knew could give her the miracle she was asking, but He didn't answer her, at first.  Here was a Gentile who was convinced that Jesus was the Messiah.  The conventional wisdom at this time was that Jesus would not help Gentiles.  This woman pushed through that conventional wisdom for the sake of a healing for her daughter.  She went against what the world said to do.

 

Was Jesus' not responding to her test?  If so, this woman clearly passed because Jesus ended up responding to her and healing the woman's daughter.  Her great faith must have been refreshing to Jesus.  She was proclaiming her faith for all to see.  Jesus was initially silent, then He provided her miracle because of her faith and He acknowledges her great faith!

The conventional wisdom for those facing a divorce is to "move on".  Many do "move on" after initially standing.  In remaining to stand for the healing of your marriage and spouse, you are showing God your great faith, even when it seems like He isn't listening.  Show Him that you are like the Canaanite woman.  Push through the conventional wisdom that God doesn't heal marriages/spouses.  Push through the conventional wisdom that we should just move on.  Push through the conventional wisdom to find someone new, and better...  Push through the conventional wisdom even when it seems like God is silent.  Show Him your great faith.  He will answer.

Rejection and Disaster

Rejection and Disaster

 

I would like to share an email devotional that I received today from Heartlight.org:

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"Surely you have read this Scripture: 'The stone that the builders did not want became the cornerstone. The Lord did this, and it is wonderful to us.'" — mark 12:10-11 (ERV)

Key Thought:

Jesus finishes his story by quoting a Scripture from the Old Testament that will become one of his early followers' favorite passages. The point of the quotation is simple: God can turn things around and do great things with what looks like rejection and disaster. This is precisely what God does. God raised his Son Jesus from the dead and vindicated his life, his ministry, and his teachings. What begins horribly -- the Son being murdered and his body desecrated outside the city -- ends in something marvelous -- Jesus is raised and death is defeated. While we hate the rejection, the wounds, the humiliation and the death that Jesus endured, God has made this precious to us. It is marvelous grace.

Today's Prayer:

My Father in heaven, the only one adequate response that I can give to all that you have given to me through your Son is thank you! However, dear Lord, I want that thank you to be more than words; I want to say thank you with all of my being and show my appreciation with the way that I live. In Jesus' name. Amen.

From Heartlight.org 8/26/2012
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Yes, there is great evidence that God can take circumstances that appear to be disasters, great rejection, etc., and turn them around into great things.  Keep praying that He will do this for our spouses, our families, and our marriage.

Repentance and Humility of One

If you would ask around I would bet that most people would disagree with you on the notion that only one of two spouses can work to "save" a marriage. My guess is that all will say that "you need both husband and wife to want to reconcile for a marriage to be restored." As evidence they say, "look at all the divorces".  

Now, marriage is a relationship, a special one, but a relationship like a friendship, or sisterhood, or brotherhood. But at its root it is a relationship between two people. Add God to the mix and it becomes a blessed relationship.

The Bible story of Issac is a great relationship story.  Issac was the miracle baby of Abraham and Sarah.  Isaac was the one from whom would come the "many nations" God so promised.  He had two sons named Esau and Jacob, two very different men.  Esau was the older son and entitled by law and custom to his father's blessing.  When it became time to give his blessing, Jacob deceived Isaac into giving him (Jacob) his blessing. Esau was incensed and wanted to kill Jacob so Jacob ran. Their relationship was now severly damaged, if not destroyed. But then God got involved.

Jacob repented of his sin and humbled himself in front of God and Esau.  Their relationship was restored through the repentance and humility of one.

So why not a marriage?  Can not a marriage relationship follow the same path as Jacob and Esau's restoration?  God has no favorites. (Acts 10: 34-35) What He has done for one, He will do for anyone.  Marriage relationships can be restored through the repentance and humility of one spouse.  There is evidence that it can be so.  The evidence is in God's Word.  Can there be anything more credible?

Standing Husbands as "Instruments of Salvation"

I have been thinking about how Jacob must have felt when he was told that his favored-son Joseph had been killed by an animal.  How he was devastated by this terrible news.  He felt as though he could not go on living.  But we know that God had other plans to use Joseph mightily for His purposes.  Joseph didn't want this.  He faced terrible conditions and treatment - slavery and prison.  But he rose above all of it and later, as we know, he became a great and powerful instrument of salvation, used by God to benefit many.  

The following is a post I found online that speaks to this:

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There is a story about a man who was the sole survivor of a ship which sank at sea. He was able to make a small raft of some of the ship’s cargo and eventually drift to a desert island. There he constructed a make-shift shelter and lived on what little food he had been able to salvage from the wreckage. Time after time he had attempted unsuccessfully to attract the attention of a passing ship. Finally, he saw a ship approaching more closely and hurriedly set a signal fire ablaze. To his dismay, the ship passed by and was quickly fading from sight. Accidentally, sparks from the signal fire set the thatched roof of his shelter in flames, and the man watched hopelessly and helplessly as all of his provision burned to ashes.

All was lost, he reasoned, and life could not last much longer. Suddenly he noticed that the ship which had passed him by was turning around and approaching the island more closely than before. To his great relief, he was seen by the crew and rescued. Once on board, the grateful survivor went to the captain of the ship to express his thanks. “But what caused you to turn around after you had already passed by me?” he queried. “Why, we saw the signal fire you made by setting your shelter on fire,” the captain responded.

The very thing which seemed to seal the doom of this marooned man was the means of his delivery. What seemed to spell disaster for him became an instrument of his salvation. That is precisely the case with Joseph and Jacob in Genesis 37. A tragic and cruel event occurred which, to Jacob, brought his world to an end. Life was hardly worth living, he reasoned, because he had lost the one thing which meant the most to him. But in the end, the loss of Joseph for a period of years was the means God employed to save the nation from starvation and, worse yet, from a loss of purity by being absorbed into the culture and religion of the Canaanites.

The emotional intensity of the events of the life of Jacob and his sons is difficult for us to appreciate. We come to this 37th chapter of Genesis in much the same way as we would watch the video replay of a week-old football game. We know the outcome of the story. We know that Jacob was in error when he later cried out, “… all these things are against me” (Genesis 42:36). Only in the throes of crisis or tragedy can we fully appreciate what Jacob is experiencing in this chapter. 

**Taken from "Jacob, Joseph, Jealousy, and a Journey to Egypt (Genesis 36:1-37)" By Bob Deffinbaugh, from the series: "Genesis: From Paradise to Patriarchs".
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How can we relate all this to standing?  From my prespective, it is relatable to our journeys in many ways as we might just be in the position of both Jacob and Joseph, as well as the man on the island.  We are much like Jacob in that we have lost our wife, our love, our favorite person, initially left to be sorrowful and wondering if we can go on without them.  We mourn our loss and are initially devastated.  

We are also like Joseph as we have been put on a journey that none of us want to take.  It is uncomfortable, painful, seemingly endless.  Just when we feel like things may have improved, we are again thrown into our jail cell of circumstances.  But if we persevere, as Joseph did, maybe, just maybe, with prayer, shifts in attitude, confidence and trust in Our God, we can arise from it all.  Joseph rose to stardom, to great heights, and was used by God as His instrument to save.

It is my belief that part of my stand is to pray for my wife's salvation. I often think "if I don't pray for her, who will?" So I see myself as an instrument of salvation for my wife.  I initially felt like a divorce would "seal my doom", but I have changed my thinking a bit.  Maybe this adversity is like what Joseph had to go through.  Maybe my wife has to live as the prodigal son lived before returning.  As for the other part of my stand, I am like the man marooned on the islandwho had a fire destroy his means of survival  -  maybe a separation/divorce was the very means of delivery for ME - to bring ME closer to God, to listen to God's call, to change my old ways of living.


The end of their story brings joy to both Joseph and Jacob.  Joseph got his family back and Jacob got his most-loved son back.  Yes it took many years.  But they finally rejoiced together.  Is "standing" for our wives also like the story of the man who was on the deserted island?  Just as he thought things looked their bleakest, there was a sudden turnaround (both figuratively and literally)!  I would venture to guess that if you are reading this you have also made changes to bring yourself closer to God.  Maybe like me, this has been a means of delivery for you too - being delivered to Our Lord and used for His purposes.

Remain hopeful.  Be encouraged.  Yes, we mourn like Jacob, but he went on living.  Persevere through adversity as Joseph did.  It is my belief that a separation/divorce may just be the means of delivery of salvation for the standing husbands, for our wives, and for our families.  In that way we are instruments of God's salvation.

Reminding God of His Promises

I was recently searching the internet and came across several teachings about “reminding God of His promises”.  I was confused as I had never heard this before.  Remind God?  He didn’t forget His promises did He?  Certainly He did not.  His promises are backed by the honor of His name and the promises come to us under the new covenant.  When we remind God of His promises we are also reminding ourselves of His promises - it is not to try to manipulate God. When we see all of His promises it should be encouraging, even in standing for your marriage.

Here are a few of God’s promises to us.  Praying them will remind you of how much God must love us.

God, You said You are faithful to Your promises and they are my protection.  Psalm 91:4

God, You said “It is not good for a man to be alone.”  Genesis 2:18

God, You said “When a man leaves his parents he will cling to his wife and the two shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

God, You said “What God has joined, let man not separate.” Matthew 19:6

God, You said “I hate divorce. Malachi 2:16 (NLT)

God, You said Your plans are to prosper me, to give me hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11

God, You said my prayer has great power and brings wonderful results.  James 5:16

God, You said if I don’t give up I will reap a harvest of blessing at the right time.  Galatians 6:9

God, You said no weapon brought against me shall prosper.  Isaiah 54:17

God, You said You are a very present help in times of trouble.  Psalm 46:1

God, You said Your word will not return to You void, it will accomplish all You want.  Isaiah 55:11

God, You said You would cause my enemies who rise up against me to be defeated – they shall come at me one way and flee seven different ways.  Deuteronomy 28:7

God, You said I am surrounded with Your favor as with a shield.  Psalm 5:12

God, You said I will soar and I will not grow weary.  Isaiah 40:31

God, You said You will sustain me, You will not let me fail.  Psalm 55:22

God, You said You will meet all of my needs.  Philippians 4:19

God, You said I will find You when I seek You.  Deuteronomy 4:29

God, You said when I run to You I will be safe.  Proverbs 18:10

God, You said You will direct my paths.  Proverbs 3:5,6

God, You said You will rescue me from every trap.  Psalm 91:3

God, You said because I make You my refuge, no harm or evil will come near my dwelling.  Psalm 91: 9,10

Courage & Strength

In the view of the world, when a wife decides to leave her husband, the husband should then: "move on", "find someone else", "give up on his wife", etc, etc. Thoughts or feelings that the husband should seek Our Lord for His divine intervention are rarely ever even considered. Never considered by anyone - not the family, friends, husband...certainly not the wife. It's just not the way the world does things. To ask Jesus for His divine assistance is going against the world.

So how do you go against the world? What do you need? From what I have learned during my time standing in the gap for my wife and praying for my wife's salvation, one needs courage and strength. But during the circumstances of being in a separation, or during a divorce, courage and strength can be hard to come by. At least hard to come by on your own.

You can get that needed courage and strength through God's word. Jesus depended upon the Word when He was faced with the devil's lies and temptations. So if Jesus relied on the Word, so should we. The Word of God is like a powerful sword we should be using to face the challenging circumstances we are going through.

Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6

I promise you what I promised Moses: ‘Wherever you set foot, you will be on land I have given you ... No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you.  Be strong and courageous, for you are the one who will lead these people to possess all the land I swore to their ancestors I would give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:3-9

David also said to Solomon his son, "Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the LORD is finished. 1 Chronicles 28:20

There is very inspiring song by the Christian band Casting Crowns called "Courageous". The song is quickly becoming my anthem for being a better father, husband and spiritual leader to my family.  Here are a few of my favorite verses from that song – the lines in red just seemed to resonate with me about a call to stand for my marriage:

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"Courageous"

We were made to be courageous
We were made to lead the way
We could be the generation
That finally breaks the chains

We were warriors on the front lines
Standing, unafraid
But now we're watchers on the sidelines
While our families slip away

Where are you, men of courage?
You were made for so much more
Let the pounding of our hearts cry
We will serve the lord

We were made to be courageous
And we're taking back the fight
We were made to be courageous
And it starts with us tonight

The only way we'll ever stand
Is on our knees with lifted hands
Make us courageous
Lord, make us courageous

This is our resolution
Our answer to the call
We will love our wives and children
We refuse to let them fall

We will reignite the passion
That we buried deep inside
May the watchers become warriors
Let the men of god arise

In the war of the mind I will make my stand (seek justice. love mercy. walk humbly with your God)
In the battle of the heart and the battle of the hand (seek justice. love mercy. walk humbly with your God)
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Men we have been called to  stand unafraid, to take back the fight, to refuse to let your wives and family fall.

Be a warrior for your marriage, family, wife.  Pray for strength and guidance.  Learn and depend on the Word.  Be courageous.

Blessings.

Lonely Times Away from Our Spouse - A Gift?

Oh when we are apart from our spouse the times can be very difficult.  Yes, we have our job, and possibly children and other responsibilities to occupy us.  But the thoughts of our spouse and family are never far away.  But then there are the times when we are really alone, just by ourselves.  Maybe it is the weekend and you are not working, or if you are dividing the children’s time with your spouse, maybe it is a time when they are with your spouse.  I have found that those are the most difficult times.  It is easy to see how one could become depressed. 

I have found that these times can be …

-         Lonely

-         Painful

-         Endless

-         Frightening

-         Frustrating

But you need to get rid of these worldly feelings.  These feelings can take over your entire day or existence.  You sit and think about how things are and wonder constantly how things could have gone so wrong.  Then, before you know it, the day is gone and you’ve just been consumed with these thoughts and feelings.  And, nothing has changed.  All of your circumstances are the same.  And you still feel horrible.

There is a better way.  You can remember that you have been given a difficult and very important assignment from God.  An assignment to fight for your spouse and marriage in the spiritual realm.  This is probably the first time you ever had to do anything like this.  I believe that the sooner you can transition into a spiritual mindset, and release yourself from drowning in the worldly feelings, the sooner you can really work on this assignment from God.

Instead of focusing on those worldly feelings, I try to shift to my focus to make these alone times…

·      Prayerful – prayer is so important.  It is our time to fellowship with Our Creator.  The scriptures instruct us to always pray and to have faith that our prayers are heard.

Watch therefore, and pray always that you may be counted worthy to escape all these things that will come to pass, and to stand before the Son of Man. Luke 21: 36(NKJV)

And whatever you ask for in prayer, having faith and [really] believing, you will receive. Matthew 21: 22

Be earnest and unwearied and steadfast in your prayer [life], being [both] alert and intent in [your praying] with thanksgiving. Colossians 4: 2

Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. Philippians 4: 6

The Lord has heard my supplication; the Lord receives my prayer. Psalm 6: 9

·       Enlightening – gaining knowledge of God’s Word and becoming educated in the scriptures assists us in our assignment.  It starts, and ends, with regular study and reading of God’s Word and seeking Godly wisdom.

For the Lord gives skillful and godly Wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding. Proverbs 2:6

If any of you is deficient in wisdom, let him ask of the giving God [Who gives] to everyone liberally and ungrudgingly, without reproaching or faultfinding, and it will be given him. James 1: 5

With the aged [you say] is wisdom, and with length of days comes understanding. But [only] with [God] are [perfect] wisdom and might; He [alone] has [true] counsel and understanding. Job 12: 12-13

He who leans on, trusts in, and is confident of his own mind and heart is a [self-confident] fool, but he who walks in skillful and godly Wisdom shall be delivered. Proverbs 28: 26

Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding. Proverbs 4: 7(NKJV)

Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unfathomable (inscrutable, unsearchable) are His judgments (His decisions)! And how untraceable (mysterious, undiscoverable) are His ways (His methods, His paths)! Romans 11: 33

·       Peaceful – Yes, these times can be peaceful and through Our Lord you can extinguish the worry and anxieties.  His Word tells us that we should not worry for that feeling is not from Him.  Trust in God brings peace.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. (John 14:27)

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me (Jesus). (John 14:1)

And my God will supply all your needs according to His Riches in Glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7)

God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)

·        Spirit-filled – being filled with the Holy Spirit is not something that is just for a select few, it is for all believers.  No conditions are placed upon this gift except faith in Christ.  Become filled with God’s Spirit through strengthening your faith.  Strengthen your faith is part of our assignment.

On the last day of the feast, the great day, Jesus stood up and cried out, "If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water. "  John 7: 37-39

In Him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in Him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of His glory. Ephesians 1:13-14

Yes the times we are alone are difficult.  But I believe, if you focus on the “unseen” you can see these times as a very special gift - a gift to help us become prayerful, educated in Godly wisdom, to experience God’s peace, and to become filled with God’s Spirit.  So maybe we should be thankful for these times when we are alone. Maybe it’s just part of our assignment.

Providing For, and Protecting, Your Wife and Family

Today I was thinking about how, as the man of the house, we are charged with protecting our family.  It is our God-given duty to provide for our families as well. "But if any man does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1 Timothy 5:8

If you are separated or divorced, it is hard to do that “protecting” and “providing”.  How can we protect a wife we are not around?  How can we provide for a wife we do not have communication with? 

Start with prayer.  Pray to God asking how you can accomplish these duties in your circumstances.  Ask Our Lord to provide opportunities to you which will allow you to protect and provide for your wife and family.  

Pray more.  There are some very good scriptures about “protecting” in the Bible.  I would first suggest Ephesians 6:13-17: Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Here is an example of praying Ephesians 6 for your wife and family:

Heavenly Father, Your warrior prepares for battle along with my wife and children. Today my wife claims victory over Satan by putting on the whole armor of God!  She puts on the Belt of Truth.  May she stand firm in the truth of your Word so she will not be a victim of Satan’s lies.  My wife puts on the Breastplate of Righteousness.  May it guard my wife’s heart from evil so she will remain pure and holy, protected under the blood of Jesus Christ.  My wife puts on the Sandals of Peace.  May she go out and proclaim the good news of the Gospel so your peace will shine through her and be a light to all she encounters.  My wife takes the Shield of Faith.  May she be ready to deflect Satan’s fiery darts of doubt, denial and deceit so she will not be vulnerable to spiritual defeat.  My wife puts on the Helmet of Salvation.  May she keep her mind focused on you so Satan will not have a stronghold on her thoughts.  My wife takes the Sword of the Spirit.  May the two-edged sword of your Word be ready in her hands so she can use it to take authority over the Enemy.  By faith, my wife, your warrior, has put on the whole armor of God.  My wife is prepared to live this day in spiritual victory.

This armor is “spiritual armor”.  Pray every day that God’s armor be placed over yourself and your wife and children.  Meditate on Ephesians 6 and really get to know it.  This armor is for protection – you are placing a spiritual protection on your wife and family.  This is your duty.

Pray even more.  I suggest that you read the Book of Hosea.  Hosea was a man who married Gomer, the daughter of a prostitute.  Gomer was unfaithful to Hosea and she ends up being offered for sale as a slave.  Hosea buys Gomer and nurses her back to health.  While Gomer is still away from Hosea and chasing after her lovers, God says that He will put a HEDGE around Gomer. "Therefore, behold, I will hedge up thy way with thorns, and make a wall, that she shall not find her paths. And she shall follow after her lovers, but she shall not overtake them; and she shall seek them, but shall not find them: then shall she say, I will go and return to my first husband; for then was it better with me than now" (Hosea 2:6-7). Remember that the hedge is to be a wall of protection from wrong outside influence. Gomer would not be able to fulfill her own ungodly purpose. She would follow after her lovers but would not be able to overtake them. She would seek after her lovers but not be able to find them.  God said that He would cause her to see that it was better with her husband than with anyone else.

Here is an example of praying a hedge of protection:

"Heavenly Father, I ask You in the name and through the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ, to build a "hedge of thorns" around my wife. I pray that through this hedge, any other lover, ungodly friend, or anyone who speaks against our reconciliation, will lose interest in my wife and depart. I base this prayer on Your Word which commands that what You have joined together, let not man put asunder." (Matthew 19:6)

Praying in God’s will is something discussed in the previous post.  That same idea can carry through to the ideas here.  Praying for God’s help in how to protect and provide for your wife is, I believe, praying in God’s will, for those are our responsibilities as husbands. 

Praying "On the Same Page" with God

Wouldn’t it be encouraging to you if what you wanted with your marriage was what God wanted?  Wouldn’t it be nice to know that you and God were “on the same page” about your marriage?  Wouldn’t it be strengthening to you to hear God’s voice about all this?  Well, be encouraged, joyful, and strengthened.

God created marriage and He has spoken about it.  God first created Adam but saw that he needed a mate.

  

“The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’”  Genesis 2:18  “Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will cling to his wife: and they will be one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

God created Eve to be Adam’s wife.  So since God created marriage, why would He want to see one destroyed?  He wouldn’t, so doing so is against His will.  In fact, Jesus spoke about this in the Gospel of Matthew.

“I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of Israel. “I hate the person who covers himself with violence,” says the LORD of Armies. “Be careful not to be unfaithful.” Malachi 2:16

Jesus confirmed His Father's words.

Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." Matthew 19:4-6

These are powerful statements from God about marriage.  He “hates” divorce and wants marriages to thrive, not be dismantled. 

You probably have read these verses before so you likely know God’s position on marriage and divorce.  But with knowledge about how God feels about something brings power.  That power comes in the power of prayer.  Jesus taught us this when He prayed “Your will be done.” Matthew 6:10.  Jesus was teaching us to pray in God’s will.

Since we know God’s will about marriage (and divorce), we can be confident that when we pray for our marriages to be restored, we are praying in God’s will.  Just like Jesus taught us.  When we do, you and God are on the same page.  I believe it is that simple.

Be blessed.

Nehemiah - A Great Example

I recently read through the book of Nehemiah in the Old Testament.  The walls of Jerusalem had been broken down and the gates burned with fire. Nehemiah was the cupbearer to the King of Persia. A cupbearer was a trusted officer of the King's court. He was dependable and courageous. The King needed him.  When Nehemiah heard about the destruction upon Jerusalem he cried and fasted and prayed. 

“LORD, the God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and keep his commandments, ⁶ let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night for your servants, the people of Israel. I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father’s family, have committed against you. ⁷ We have acted very wickedly toward you. We have not obeyed the commands, decrees and laws you gave your servant Moses.
⁸ “Remember the instruction you gave your servant Moses, saying, ‘If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the nations, ⁹ but if you return to me and obey my commands, then even if your exiled people are at the farthest horizon, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name.’
¹⁰ “They are your servants and your people, whom you redeemed by your great strength and your mighty hand. ¹¹ Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of your servants who delight in revering your name. Give your servant success today by granting him favor in the presence of this man.”  (Nehemiah 1:5-11)

  When Nehemiah heard of Jerusalem's walls of protection being destroyed, he asked the King if he could go to rebuild the fortifications to protect his beloved city.  The King allowed Nehemiah to leave and even protected him on his journey to Jerusalem.  When he arrived in Jerusalem and had inspected the walls, he told them he would help rebuild.

¹⁷ Then I said to them, “You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace.” ¹⁸ I also told them about the gracious hand of my God on me and what the king had said to me.
They replied, “Let us start rebuilding.” So they began this good work.  (Nehemiah 2:17-19)

Now there were many out in the world who did not want to see Jerusalem rebuilt or protected.  They plotted against Nehemiah's success.  But the plots of the enemies were frustrated through prayer to God.  Nehemiah and the ones helping to rebuild worked with one hand and held onto their weapons with the other, just in case of an attack. (Nehemiah 4)

When I look at my situation, with the walls of my marriage detroyed and the gates burned down, I get comfort and confidence from the example of Nehemiah.  He asked for help and prayed and fasted.  I also see similarities in standing for marital restoration and in what Nehemiah faced with the enemies of Jerusalem.  Those enemies did not want to see the walls rebuilt.  But the work continued, with the workers building with one hand and being always prepared for battle by holding their weapons with the other.  Restoration of our marital walls can occur likewise through the rebuilding of our relationship with God while we hold onto His Word, ready for battle against the enemy.

In a miraculous fashion, the walls of Jerusalem were rebuilt in a period of 52 days.  Only through God's help could this happen.  And it happened because God wanted it to happen.  It was His will and he used his servant Nehemiah to make it happen.

Be like Nehemiah, a courageous, trusted, and dependable servant to Our Lord.  Follow his example of prayer and fasting.  Set out to do the work of God and make sure you are prepared for the battle with God's Word always at the ready.  Allow God to rebuild your marital walls in a miraculous fashion.

Hearts CAN be Softened

When you realized that your marriage was on the brink of failure, after you dealt with the disbelief that it could happen to you, I hope you began to pray. For me, I began praying that God would just stop this nonsense and put us back together. At this time I still harbored bitterness and anger that my wife was not relenting. It was then that I was lead to pray differently.

I learned that I needed to pray for God to begin to change me. I took inventory of my feelings and found that I needed to get rid of alot of unnecessary feelings. I prayed for patience, kindness, release of anger, and many other things. Over time, my heart softened. I was able to forgive. I was able to stop looking at the negative circumstances. I was able to see the many blessings that Our Lord was showering down on me, my wife, my marriage, and my kids. My heart had softened.

Over time, my dealings with my wife began to improve. We were not arguing, we were both starting to give in more, we even began to laugh about things when we would see eachother and talk. Her heart had softened.

This happened through prayer. Our God is more powerful than any problem, any circumstance, any lie the evil one can throw our way. Our God can soften hearts, for it is written:

“‘ I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws....Then the nations around you that remain will know that I the LORD have rebuilt what was destroyed and have replanted what was desolate. I the LORD have spoken, and I will do it.’” Ezekiel 36:25-27, 36

Pray for God to soften your heart first. Then pray that He will soften your wife's heart.

Going to Jesus with Your Fears

Much of Jesus' message to mankind is "don't be afraid, for I am always with you."  Fears, anxieties, doubts are all things that I have had to deal with in my initial decision to listen to God's call to stand, as well as the everyday management of remaining in that stand.  But Jesus does not want us to fear.  He wants us to take it all to Him.

I would like to share an email devotional that I received that speaks to this issue.  It strengthened me today and I hope it will help you too.

Anxious Honesty
Jesus was inside the boat, sleeping with his head on a pillow. The followers went to him and woke him. They said, "Teacher, do you care about us? We will drown!"   Mark 4:38 (ERV)

KEY THOUGHT:
I am so thankful about the honest portrayal of Jesus' disciples. I can see myself in them and know that God uses people like me. Maybe you're not like most of us who sometimes panic when we feel overwhelmed.  Fortunately for us, the early followers of Jesus did have bouts with panic and fear just like we do. In their fear, they don't pretend to have everything under control. They don't puff out their chest with false bravado and act like they can handle the situation. Even though their honesty leads to a rebuke, it also leads to a miracle! Why?  Because they are willing to go honestly to their Savior with their fears. They have much to learn ... and he will teach them. They also have much to lose ... and he will protect them. What are you holding back in your conversation with the Savior? What has you panicked, afraid, or anxious that you have not fully shared with the Lord? Storms come and go, but only the Lord stands the test of time. Be real about your fears and anxieties and let Him care for you. Yes, He will challenge you to greater faith. But that's the point isn't it? That in our weakness he calls us to Himself and offers us grace.

TODAY'S PRAYER:
Father, I confess to you now the burdens of my heart, knowing that you
will hear them and do what is best for me. In Jesus name. Amen.

http://www.heartlight.org/wjd/


As husbands standing for their marriage, for their wives to open their hearts to Jesus, it is so important that we take the fears we have directly to Jesus.  We can not do this alone.  And only our God can help us.  Let Him.

When the Tidal Wave Comes, Turn to Our Lord to Keep You Afloat

Since my last entry, I have gone through another one of those rollercoaster rides that seem to regularly occur in the lives of us standing for the restoration of our marriage.  I described it as a “tidal wave” which put out the flame in my heart that was fueling my call to stand for my marriage.  I gave up.  I quit.  I’d had “enough”. And I was just going to “move on” with my life.

Yeah, right.  Not so fast.  Our Lord quickly intervened and put me back on track.  The very next day I received an email devotional that was titled:  “Have You Decided to Give Up on your Marriage?”  The email went into detail about how quitting should not even be an option for husbands.

My prayer friends lifted me up and gave me encouragement.  This is a testimony that husbands, though we like to do it all by ourselves, cannot do THIS alone.  We need to humble ourselves and ask for help.  Don’t try to go it alone.  First ask God for help.  He will lead you to your answers and to others who can assist you.  There are many others out there who have experienced the very same circumstances and emotions that you are going through right now.  Look around, pray, and ask for help.  You will be blessed.

Continue to immerse yourself, mind and spirit, in God’s Word, for those Words will heal you, give you knowledge, wisdom, patience, strength, and perseverance.  These are all necessities for the standing husband.

When the tidal wave came in on me, a dear friend offered me the following scripture:

“They will fear the name of the Lord from the west, and His shining-greatness from the rising of the sun. When the one who hates us comes in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a wall against him.” Isaiah 59:19

Yes, satan comes in like a flood (tidal wave?) and tries everything possible to deceive us into thinking that we would be better off and much happier if we just quit on our wives.  It is just another worn-out trick that the evil one uses on husbands to make the restoration look meaningless in our eyes.  But let's not forget about the One whose eyes see all - Our Lord.  He will help us. 

Let us call on the Holy Spirit to lift us up when the waters rise.  Stay afloat, for victory has already been attained.

Jesus said, "This kind requires prayer and fasting."

Matthew 17: 14-21 (KJV 2000)

Healing of An Epileptic Boy And when they came to the multitude, there came to him a certain man, kneeling down to him, and saying,  ''Lord, have mercy on my son: for he is epileptic, and is very ill: for often he falls into the fire, and often into the water.  And I brought him to your disciples, and they could not cure him." Then Jesus answered and said, "O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you? how long shall I endure you? bring him here to me."  And Jesus rebuked the demon; and he departed out of him: and the child was cured from that very hour. Then came the disciples to Jesus apart, and said, "Why could not we cast him out?" And Jesus said unto them, "Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you shall say unto this mountain, Remove from here to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.  But this kind goes not out but by prayer and fasting." ************************************** Prayer and fasting.  A powerful combination.  Jesus is telling His disciples that for them to have been able to cast out the demon, they had to pray AND fast in order to work this miracle.  What kind of situation must it have been for Jesus to tell the apostles they had to do more than simply pray?  It must have been a very serious, difficult situation.  One that Jesus looked at and maybe thought "this is going to be a tough one."  So the above scripture verse is an example where Jesus points out to the apostles that sometimes they will have to do more than simply pray. The breakdown of a marriage is another example of a tough, serious, difficult situation.  When we made the decision to stand for our marriage, (or when we decided to listen to God's call to stand), we all likely thought to ourselves "this is going to be a tough one".  No doubt about it.  It is tough. So we need to do what Jesus told the apostles to do in those tough times.  The scriptures tell us that prayer is powerful.  "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." (James 5:16)  Jesus' example shows us how to add an extra "punch" in our prayers during those tough times - by fasting.

Fasting isn't easy.  We feel it physically.  Before fasting, it is important to check with your doctor to see if your body can physically handle it.  If you are unable to fast from eating, maybe a fast from one of our modern conveniences would be appropriate.  Turn off the tv or radio; devote free time to prayer instead of entertainment; offer your free time to helping out others, etc.  There are many ways to "fast".

Remember, the goal of fasting is to get closer to God.  And that should be our goal during our stand, and afterward for that matter.    In addition, it just might be what is needed to "break through" the evil one's grasp on our wife and family.

Be blessed.