Prayers get answered. Don't let anyone or anything make you think otherwise.
Never ever doubt that your prayers are being heard and that Our God is working for those who love Him. I have prayed for general changes in my marriage but the specific prayers are the ones I have found are the ones God answered.
I have prayed for God to work in me. Those prayers started in November of 2010 right after my wife and I separated. I knew "we" had problems, issues, etc., but I also found that I alone could not change the problems "we" had - Only God could do that. So I began to work on my own heart and my relationship with God.
It wasn't easy. I didn't like to not have control over things. I always thought I was the one who could fix things, plan for things, prepare for anything, on my own, without God. Then God showed me how wrong I was and how His way was so much better.
While I worked on myself, I also prayed for my wife. I prayed about everything...but nothing happened. Was I praying the "right way"? Was what I wanted to happen in line with God's Word? I was confused. Why was there no visible change. Then came surrender.
After all of 2011 went by and I continued to pray, I began to analyze my prayers. I found that I was still planning the best way for things to happen, in my words and in my heart and thoughts. It was then that I discovered that maybe I needed to just let God handle things. Well, then my wife filed for divorce. She said there was just no way she could try again and that she was through and it would be best for us all. I struggled greatly during this time but continued to pray. But my prayers had changed.
I was now praying for God's perfect will to be done in my family, in my life, and in the lives of our children. I thanked God for His promises throughout the Bible. I prayed that there would be peace between my wife and I. I also stopped trying to manufacture time together with the kids and my wife. I stopped asking her about "us" and our marriage. I was as kind and generous as I could be, being careful not to overstep what God may have been doing and trying to just stay out of His way, so that He could work.
The divorce was proceeding and one night God made it clear to me that I would not be divorced. I thought "OK, maybe not in Your eyes God, but it looks like it is going to happen". We would appear in court 2 or 3 times during the divorce proceeding and each time a total peace came over me and I was reminded that "you will not be divorced". In my eyes, and in the world's eyes, the divorce was going to happen. The legal paperwork was being worked on and my wife and I were agreeing on most issues. I didn't ask her to stop it or to think about what was going to happen afterwards, I didn't try to change things. I simply prayed and thanked God for His promises and believed that all He has said was true and would come to be.
I also came to the point of total and complete surrender. I surrendered my family, marriage, wife, kids, career...everything I could think of, all to God. I asked Him to show me if there was anything else to surrender and prayed for wisdom and strength to be able to do it. He helped me greatly during this time and I was shown more things I was hanging on to that had to be given up and left at the foot of the Cross.
We were now halfway into 2013 and the final hearing was scheduled for the divorce. It would be in late August 2013. I was resigned to the notion that if this is what had to happen, I would stay with God and rely on Him for all I needed.
As I was continuing to pray for God's will, I prayed that my wife would contact me to ask about trying to work things out. I had prayed this for about 6 months.
And then I got a late-night text....
On June 22, 2013 my wife sent me a text which simply said "Are you still praying to keep our family together?" I responded "yep, and I'm not stopping". The next morning another text asked "Are you going to church with the kids and can I come too?" I responded "yes we are going and it would be great if you could come too". She came and she was wearing her wedding band which I hadn't seen her wear in almost 2 years. During the service she hugged me and kissed my cheek. Something was REALLY different about her. It was like a new life was born within her. Her smile was brighter and she was more relaxed and joyful. It was amazing! And I thanked God for the blessings.
The next morning I got an email from my wife asking for my ideas about how we could mend our marriage and get to forgiveness. She asked for my thoughts to be in writing. So I wrote out what I believed to be the starting point, which all focused on God and putting Him and His word at the center of our marriage. I was now feeling like things were actually happening in my marriage, right before my eyes...it was as if it was happening in someone else's life...
I never asked her about her texts, what she was thinking, etc
I never asked her what happened
I never brought up to her anything about it
I had surrendered it and it was all up to God
I stood on His words "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)
Thursday, October 10, 2019
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Greatly Blessed!!
I have delayed in writing this post although I'm not really sure why.
My wife and I separated in November 2010. I was devastated and so was she. Together we had destroyed our marriage and it appeared that there was no turning back, no way to fix the mess.
I struggled greatly for months. I didn't want to end our marriage but it looked like it was going to happen. I looked everywhere in the secular world for help on rebuilding my marriage. I found some "quick-fix" websites, some psychological "tricks", and some "legal threats". All had "testimonies" attached with raving positive reviews. They didn't sound right to me. So I thought I was done.
The I turned the whole matter over to God. I'd like to say that God immediately brought my wife home and reunited our family, but that didn't happen. There were months and months of prayer. There were days upon days of fasting. There were endless, sleepless nights. There was pain and suffering. I hurt deeply, as I know my wife did. Yet, nothing looked any different. The divorce was still pending and the final court date was approaching.
I knew that God had a plan which was so far better than any I could come up with. But I just didn't understand what it was. That was when I "gave up" and laid myself, wife, kids, family, and marriage all at the foot of the cross. My prayer was "God, I will pray for my wife and marriage to be rebuilt until I die. If I must die without seeing the restoration, then so be it. But I am laying it all at the foot of Jesus' cross and taking my hands off worrying about it. I give it ALL to You, for You are God and I am not."
I wish I could say that God immediately changed things at this point. But He did not. But He had changed who I was, and He had changed what I was. I was closer to Him than ever before. I had come to a point of peace, beyond all understanding.
The final court date was approaching and the lawyers were gathering all the paperwork to split up what we had left. I at this point had stopped thinking that God would stop the divorce, but never stopped believing that he would somehow rebuild our marriage.
Then, out of the blue, suddenly and unexpectedly, I received a late-night text from my wife. All she asked was if I was still praying for our family to get back together. Without thinking I wrote back, "Yes and I'm not stopping". It was at that moment that I felt God telling me "Your prayers have been answered. Now it is time to go to work."
So much has happened since that text in June of 2013. All of what has happened has God's hands all over it. He brought my wife and I back together with our children under one roof. The divorce has been dismissed. We are working on rebuilding our lives and marriage and family. It is ALL from God and it is His blessing. We will be celebrating our first Christmas together in three years!!!
This post isn't to give you a "plan" or "roadmap" of how to restore your marriage. It is only to point you in the direction of Our Father to work in your life and marriage and to allow His plan to prevail. It is also to encourage you to persevere, for I was once where you are today, hurting and praying for restoration. My marriage is evidence that God can do anything if you will only allow Him.
I am praying for you and your marriage.
Be blessed.
My wife and I separated in November 2010. I was devastated and so was she. Together we had destroyed our marriage and it appeared that there was no turning back, no way to fix the mess.
I struggled greatly for months. I didn't want to end our marriage but it looked like it was going to happen. I looked everywhere in the secular world for help on rebuilding my marriage. I found some "quick-fix" websites, some psychological "tricks", and some "legal threats". All had "testimonies" attached with raving positive reviews. They didn't sound right to me. So I thought I was done.
The I turned the whole matter over to God. I'd like to say that God immediately brought my wife home and reunited our family, but that didn't happen. There were months and months of prayer. There were days upon days of fasting. There were endless, sleepless nights. There was pain and suffering. I hurt deeply, as I know my wife did. Yet, nothing looked any different. The divorce was still pending and the final court date was approaching.
I knew that God had a plan which was so far better than any I could come up with. But I just didn't understand what it was. That was when I "gave up" and laid myself, wife, kids, family, and marriage all at the foot of the cross. My prayer was "God, I will pray for my wife and marriage to be rebuilt until I die. If I must die without seeing the restoration, then so be it. But I am laying it all at the foot of Jesus' cross and taking my hands off worrying about it. I give it ALL to You, for You are God and I am not."
I wish I could say that God immediately changed things at this point. But He did not. But He had changed who I was, and He had changed what I was. I was closer to Him than ever before. I had come to a point of peace, beyond all understanding.
The final court date was approaching and the lawyers were gathering all the paperwork to split up what we had left. I at this point had stopped thinking that God would stop the divorce, but never stopped believing that he would somehow rebuild our marriage.
Then, out of the blue, suddenly and unexpectedly, I received a late-night text from my wife. All she asked was if I was still praying for our family to get back together. Without thinking I wrote back, "Yes and I'm not stopping". It was at that moment that I felt God telling me "Your prayers have been answered. Now it is time to go to work."
So much has happened since that text in June of 2013. All of what has happened has God's hands all over it. He brought my wife and I back together with our children under one roof. The divorce has been dismissed. We are working on rebuilding our lives and marriage and family. It is ALL from God and it is His blessing. We will be celebrating our first Christmas together in three years!!!
This post isn't to give you a "plan" or "roadmap" of how to restore your marriage. It is only to point you in the direction of Our Father to work in your life and marriage and to allow His plan to prevail. It is also to encourage you to persevere, for I was once where you are today, hurting and praying for restoration. My marriage is evidence that God can do anything if you will only allow Him.
I am praying for you and your marriage.
Be blessed.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Regrouping: Scriptures to Encourage and Strengthen
Reading these scriptures often and doing your best to memorize will help you because they will encourage you in your stand for marriage restoration and be especially helpful when taking your thoughts captive and making them obedient to Christ through the word of God:
And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.’ Matthew 19:4-6
But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. ‘For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,’ Says the LORD of hosts. ‘Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.’ Malachi 2:15-16 (NKJV)
He heals the Brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion, to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs. Isaiah 61:1-3,7
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10
Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16
Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD. Proverbs 21:30
Simon Peter answered and said, ‘You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.’ Jesus answered and said to him, ‘Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven. And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it. Matthew 16:16-18
No weapon that is formed against you will prosper; And every tongue that accuses you in judgment you will condemn This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, And their vindication is from Me,’ declares the LORD. Isaiah 54:17
The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases. Proverbs 21:1
In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9
A man’s steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way? Proverbs 20:24
For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. Galatians 5:6
What a man desires is unfailing love. Proverbs 19:22
Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed’”not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence’”continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Philippians 2:12-13
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, ‘If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’ John 8:31-32
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. Psalm 119:105
You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word. Psalm 119:114
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1
But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.’ Hebrews 10:38
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6
‘And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.’ Matthew 21:22
For we walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7 (NKJV)
Then he touched their eyes and said, ‘According to your faith will it be done to you’; and their sight was restored. Jesus warned them sternly, ‘See that no one knows about this.’ Matthew 9:29-30
We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised. Hebrews 6:12
I beg you that when I come I may not have to be as bold as I expect to be toward some people who think that we live by the standards of this world. For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:2-5
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14
‘Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Behold, all those who were incensed against you shall be ashamed and disgraced; They shall be as nothing, And those who strive with you shall perish. You shall seek them and not find them–Those who contended with you. Those who war against you Shall be as nothing, As a nonexistent thing. For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you.’ Isaiah 41:10-13
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. Hebrews 10:35-36
And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight. 1 John 3:22
He replied, ‘Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.’ Matthew 17:20
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
For nothing is impossible with God.’ Luke 1:37
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23
I will return her vineyards to her and transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope. She will give herself to me there, as she did long ago when she was young, when I freed her from her captivity in Egypt. Hosea 2:15 (NLT)
He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:27-28 (NASB)
For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. Jeremiah 29:11 (AMP)
‘Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.’ Psalm 46:10
To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue. Proverbs 16:1
As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. Isaiah 55:10-11
And this you do with double guilt; you cover the altar of the Lord with tears [shed by your unoffending wives, divorced by you that you might take heathen wives], and with [your own] weeping and crying out because the Lord does not regard your offering any more or accept it with favor at your hand. Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the covenant made at your marriage] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the wife of your covenant [made by your marriage vows]. Malachi 2:13-14 (AMP)
All Bible verses are from the New International Version 1984 unless otherwise indicated.
Reading these scriptures often and doing your best to memorize will help you because they will encourage you in your stand for marriage restoration and be especially helpful when taking your thoughts captive and making them obedient to Christ through the word of God:
And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.’ Matthew 19:4-6
But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. ‘For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,’ Says the LORD of hosts. ‘Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.’ Malachi 2:15-16 (NKJV)
He heals the Brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion, to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs. Isaiah 61:1-3,7
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10
Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16
Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD. Proverbs 21:30
Simon Peter answered and said, ‘You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.’ Jesus answered and said to him, ‘Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven. And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it. Matthew 16:16-18
No weapon that is formed against you will prosper; And every tongue that accuses you in judgment you will condemn This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, And their vindication is from Me,’ declares the LORD. Isaiah 54:17
The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases. Proverbs 21:1
In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9
A man’s steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way? Proverbs 20:24
For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. Galatians 5:6
What a man desires is unfailing love. Proverbs 19:22
Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed’”not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence’”continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Philippians 2:12-13
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, ‘If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’ John 8:31-32
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. Psalm 119:105
You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word. Psalm 119:114
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1
But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.’ Hebrews 10:38
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6
‘And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.’ Matthew 21:22
For we walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7 (NKJV)
Then he touched their eyes and said, ‘According to your faith will it be done to you’; and their sight was restored. Jesus warned them sternly, ‘See that no one knows about this.’ Matthew 9:29-30
We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised. Hebrews 6:12
I beg you that when I come I may not have to be as bold as I expect to be toward some people who think that we live by the standards of this world. For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:2-5
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14
‘Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Behold, all those who were incensed against you shall be ashamed and disgraced; They shall be as nothing, And those who strive with you shall perish. You shall seek them and not find them–Those who contended with you. Those who war against you Shall be as nothing, As a nonexistent thing. For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you.’ Isaiah 41:10-13
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. Hebrews 10:35-36
And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight. 1 John 3:22
He replied, ‘Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.’ Matthew 17:20
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
For nothing is impossible with God.’ Luke 1:37
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23
I will return her vineyards to her and transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope. She will give herself to me there, as she did long ago when she was young, when I freed her from her captivity in Egypt. Hosea 2:15 (NLT)
He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:27-28 (NASB)
For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. Jeremiah 29:11 (AMP)
‘Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.’ Psalm 46:10
To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue. Proverbs 16:1
As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. Isaiah 55:10-11
And this you do with double guilt; you cover the altar of the Lord with tears [shed by your unoffending wives, divorced by you that you might take heathen wives], and with [your own] weeping and crying out because the Lord does not regard your offering any more or accept it with favor at your hand. Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the covenant made at your marriage] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the wife of your covenant [made by your marriage vows]. Malachi 2:13-14 (AMP)
All Bible verses are from the New International Version 1984 unless otherwise indicated.
Regrouping: A Necessary Exercise
I have been standing for my marriage for almost 3 years now. During that time I have experienced times of "no contact", times of strife and arguing, times of anger and resentment and times of ... peace.
In the last few months I have also experienced increased commuication, cooperation with my wife, greatly increased time together with my wife as a family, dinners together, outings together, and even some times of praising and worshipping Our Lord together with my wife in church, sitting right beside me. After having these wonderful times though, there has followed a "pull-back" by my wife. A distancing. A coldness. Certainly the "peace" I felt before feels long gone.
But it is possible to get it back. The "peace" typically comes back after those bad times, after I recommit to standing and praying. But it takes work to get to that point for me. My usual practice is to go back to the basics and regroup. Here is a prayer that puts all of the principles from scripture together to help with regrouping. The following post will include all the scripture verses.
PRAYER FOR STANDING HUSBAND
Dear Lord, You know my heart is broken, that I have a troubled spirit, and a longing for Your comfort and the answers I seek during this time of despair. So I thank You for Your Word assuring me that from the very beginning, You created my marriage as a one flesh covenant relationship, saying that what You joined together, no man or woman should separate, and that You hate divorce.
And thank You for Your promise to heal my broken heart, and bind up my wounds, that You will comfort me as I mourn, and that You will bestow on me a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. Thank You, Lord, that instead of shame or disgrace, I will rejoice in my inheritance, that I will inherit a double portion in my life, and that everlasting joy will be mine, as You restore my marriage, which Satan came to destroy. I thank You that in accordance with Your Word, I can approach Your throne of grace with confidence and receive mercy and grace to help me in my time of need.
Thank You for Your promise that all things are possible with You, Lord Jesus, and that You, and You alone, will give me peace that transcends all understanding. Thank You for the assurance that no wisdom, no insight and no plan can succeed against You. And thank You for having my wife’s heart in Your hand, and for directing her heart like a watercourse wherever You please. Thank You for assuring me that she can not plan or understand her own way because You are the one who determines and directs her steps.
Please teach me how to express my faith in love because Your Word tells us that unfailing love is what every man desires. And I ask You, Lord, to work in me to will and act according to Your good purpose, to make me the husband You want me to be. I believe You and I am Your disciple. I want to understand and live according to Your teachings because then I will know the truth and the truth will set me free. Thank You for Your Word, which is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. You are my refuge and my shield, so I put my hope in Your Word.
Since faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen, please show me how to live by faith and not shrink back so You will be pleased with me because I know it’s impossible to please You without faith. And thank You for Your promise that whatever I ask for in prayer and believe, I will receive. Please teach me to walk by faith and not by sight because Jesus said that according to my faith it will be done to me. So, Lord, I ask You to please give me the faith and patience necessary to inherit all that You have promised.
Father, always remind me that I’m not to live by the standards of this world and that even though I live in the world, I can’t wage war as the world does. The weapons You give me to fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds and are mighty to demolish arguments and every pretension that set themselves up against the knowledge of You, my God, and the covenant of my marriage. So please help me take captive every thought and make it obedient to You, Christ Jesus. I will not be afraid, for You are with me. I will not be dismayed, for You are my God. Thank You for strengthening me. Thank You for helping me. Thank You for upholding me and the covenant of my marriage with Your righteous right hand. Thank You for making anyone who is incensed against me and the sanctity of my marriage as nothing; that anyone who contends with me or wars with me and comes to destroy or put asunder my marriage is as nothing, as a nonexistent thing, because You, the Lord, my God, hold my right hand and tell me to “Fear not, I will help you.”
Teach me to ALWAYS rest in the confidence I have in You because Your Word tells me that it will be richly rewarded. Help me persevere so that when I have done Your will, God, I will receive what You have promised. And help me keep Your commandments and do the things that are pleasing in Your sight so I can receive whatever I ask from You, including the restoration of my marriage.
I boldly ask for faith enabling me to speak to mountains and make them move, and the confidence and assurance that nothing is impossible. Thank You, Lord, that I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me, and That with You, nothing is impossible, including living my life full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control; even during this time of trouble, which Your Word assures me You will turn into a gateway of hope. And thank You that Your Spirit intercedes for me, Your saint, in accordance with Your will, and that You are working all things together for my good because I love You and am called according to Your purpose. I thank You and praise You, Lord, that Your thoughts and plans for me and my family are for our welfare and peace and not for evil, which give me hope in our final outcome. And I thank You, Lord, that I can be still and know that You are God and that You will be exalted in all the earth and in heaven and in the restoration of my marriage.
And thank You for the comfort of knowing that even though my wife may have other plans in her heart, from You comes the reply of the tongue, and that the Words that come out of Your mouth do not return to You empty; that they will accomplish what You desire and the purpose for which You sent them! And thank You for the assurance that You honor and uphold the covenant of our marriage that was made when You witnessed our marriage vows, and that YOU will defend it against the treachery of unfaithfulness, divorce and remarriage.
For all this, I ask and give thanks in the most precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. Amen.
I have been standing for my marriage for almost 3 years now. During that time I have experienced times of "no contact", times of strife and arguing, times of anger and resentment and times of ... peace.
In the last few months I have also experienced increased commuication, cooperation with my wife, greatly increased time together with my wife as a family, dinners together, outings together, and even some times of praising and worshipping Our Lord together with my wife in church, sitting right beside me. After having these wonderful times though, there has followed a "pull-back" by my wife. A distancing. A coldness. Certainly the "peace" I felt before feels long gone.
But it is possible to get it back. The "peace" typically comes back after those bad times, after I recommit to standing and praying. But it takes work to get to that point for me. My usual practice is to go back to the basics and regroup. Here is a prayer that puts all of the principles from scripture together to help with regrouping. The following post will include all the scripture verses.
PRAYER FOR STANDING HUSBAND
Dear Lord, You know my heart is broken, that I have a troubled spirit, and a longing for Your comfort and the answers I seek during this time of despair. So I thank You for Your Word assuring me that from the very beginning, You created my marriage as a one flesh covenant relationship, saying that what You joined together, no man or woman should separate, and that You hate divorce.
And thank You for Your promise to heal my broken heart, and bind up my wounds, that You will comfort me as I mourn, and that You will bestow on me a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. Thank You, Lord, that instead of shame or disgrace, I will rejoice in my inheritance, that I will inherit a double portion in my life, and that everlasting joy will be mine, as You restore my marriage, which Satan came to destroy. I thank You that in accordance with Your Word, I can approach Your throne of grace with confidence and receive mercy and grace to help me in my time of need.
Thank You for Your promise that all things are possible with You, Lord Jesus, and that You, and You alone, will give me peace that transcends all understanding. Thank You for the assurance that no wisdom, no insight and no plan can succeed against You. And thank You for having my wife’s heart in Your hand, and for directing her heart like a watercourse wherever You please. Thank You for assuring me that she can not plan or understand her own way because You are the one who determines and directs her steps.
Please teach me how to express my faith in love because Your Word tells us that unfailing love is what every man desires. And I ask You, Lord, to work in me to will and act according to Your good purpose, to make me the husband You want me to be. I believe You and I am Your disciple. I want to understand and live according to Your teachings because then I will know the truth and the truth will set me free. Thank You for Your Word, which is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. You are my refuge and my shield, so I put my hope in Your Word.
Since faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen, please show me how to live by faith and not shrink back so You will be pleased with me because I know it’s impossible to please You without faith. And thank You for Your promise that whatever I ask for in prayer and believe, I will receive. Please teach me to walk by faith and not by sight because Jesus said that according to my faith it will be done to me. So, Lord, I ask You to please give me the faith and patience necessary to inherit all that You have promised.
Father, always remind me that I’m not to live by the standards of this world and that even though I live in the world, I can’t wage war as the world does. The weapons You give me to fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds and are mighty to demolish arguments and every pretension that set themselves up against the knowledge of You, my God, and the covenant of my marriage. So please help me take captive every thought and make it obedient to You, Christ Jesus. I will not be afraid, for You are with me. I will not be dismayed, for You are my God. Thank You for strengthening me. Thank You for helping me. Thank You for upholding me and the covenant of my marriage with Your righteous right hand. Thank You for making anyone who is incensed against me and the sanctity of my marriage as nothing; that anyone who contends with me or wars with me and comes to destroy or put asunder my marriage is as nothing, as a nonexistent thing, because You, the Lord, my God, hold my right hand and tell me to “Fear not, I will help you.”
Teach me to ALWAYS rest in the confidence I have in You because Your Word tells me that it will be richly rewarded. Help me persevere so that when I have done Your will, God, I will receive what You have promised. And help me keep Your commandments and do the things that are pleasing in Your sight so I can receive whatever I ask from You, including the restoration of my marriage.
I boldly ask for faith enabling me to speak to mountains and make them move, and the confidence and assurance that nothing is impossible. Thank You, Lord, that I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me, and That with You, nothing is impossible, including living my life full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control; even during this time of trouble, which Your Word assures me You will turn into a gateway of hope. And thank You that Your Spirit intercedes for me, Your saint, in accordance with Your will, and that You are working all things together for my good because I love You and am called according to Your purpose. I thank You and praise You, Lord, that Your thoughts and plans for me and my family are for our welfare and peace and not for evil, which give me hope in our final outcome. And I thank You, Lord, that I can be still and know that You are God and that You will be exalted in all the earth and in heaven and in the restoration of my marriage.
And thank You for the comfort of knowing that even though my wife may have other plans in her heart, from You comes the reply of the tongue, and that the Words that come out of Your mouth do not return to You empty; that they will accomplish what You desire and the purpose for which You sent them! And thank You for the assurance that You honor and uphold the covenant of our marriage that was made when You witnessed our marriage vows, and that YOU will defend it against the treachery of unfaithfulness, divorce and remarriage.
For all this, I ask and give thanks in the most precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. Amen.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Surrender: What? You get more when you give up?
Most standers will tell you that you need to give your
marriage, spouse, and family over to God, to surrender it all to Him, in order
to be strong enough to persevere in your stand.
Giving it all over to God can mean different things to different people since
we are all experiencing different circumstances. But I think it universally means to stop
trying to control the outcome of the mess that’s swirling around you; stop
trying to manipulate situations where you think you can do something to change their
minds; stop quoting to them scriptures or trying to make them feel guilty; basically,
to refrain from trying to help God work out your marriage problems.
This is easier said than done. As humans we feel like we can fix
problems. We feel like we have enough
knowledge about our lives, family, children, and spouses that we know
what to do to bring about a lasting change.
That might work with simple problems, but the breakdown of a marriage is
not a simple problem. There is so much
more going on with this kind of problem that only divine intervention will
bring about a Godly, lasting change.
So, you “give it all to God” to deal with. You still intercede for help for our spouses
by prayer and fasting, but you stop trying to fix it yourself. One way to get to surrender is to look at
yourself first. Confession of your own
sins and awareness of your own faults will change your focus. A focus that you will now have on changing
your own relationship with God, and getting closer to God - because He is God and
NOT because of what he can do for you.
This surrender can be a long process and it takes effort on
your part but it is so very much worth it for you not only get a closer
relationship with our Creator, but like the Loving Father He is, He gives you more
than you ask for.
I have made a list of what I have experienced after complete
surrender of my marriage to God:
1. Peace
beyond all understanding – this brings with it sleep-filled nights as opposed
to constant tossing and turning. The
fears and anxieties of separation and divorce leave your mind.
2. Forgiveness
– you are able to forgive your spouse, in a Godly sense. When God forgives you He never remembers your
sin again. You forget the past deeds
against you. Your bitterness toward your
spouse ends.
3. Control
over your own emotions – no longer have emotional outbursts over what your
spouse did or is doing. Control over
your words (“zipping your lips”).
4. Strength –
becoming stronger in Christ, becoming an example of reliability and strength. You still care about your spouse but are no
longer affected by negative things they do or say. The ability to stop begging, pleading, crying
to get them to come home.
5. Steadfast
– no longer entertaining thoughts of giving up on your spouse; and words from
others advising you “to move on” ,or “you
can do better”, or “you don’t deserve this treatment” have NO effect.
6. Discernment
– the ability to quickly determine the lies of the enemy from the truth. Seeing your spouse the way God sees them.
7. The “Time
Element” – the ability to ignore the passage of time and how long it may take to
restore the marriage. This is a huge
blessing that God gave.
8. God is “your
world” – your focus changes from your spouse to God. You long for and gain a deeper desire to
spend time with Him and in His Word. You
enjoy this time with Him – it is not a chore.
9. Other
areas of your “world” change – you become an encouragement to others; your “default”
reactions become Godly, instead of “worldly”.
I still pray for my wife, for my marriage and all marriages
to be restored in God’s time, but it is no longer my main focus. I have become more led by the Spirit and have
received His many blessings in my journey.
It is often said that those following Christ will be looked at as “strange”,
and standing for God to fix your marriage is no different. Surrendering to Him is a key aspect of it
all. How many “wordly” people would
agree that you get more by surrendering?
So it may sound strange to the world, but they will see the blessings
you receive.
Be blessed.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Standing in the Blazing Furnace (Daniel 3)
In Daniel 3 the Bible tells the story of three men, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who would not worship as king Nebuchadnezzar ordered. The king had ordered all members of his kingdom to worship a statue of gold at an appointed time and those who would not do so would be thrown into a blazing furnace. But Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego refused to follow the king's order. The king was told of their refusal:
12"But there are some Jews whom you have set over the affairs of the province of Babylon—Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego—who pay no attention to you, Your Majesty. They neither serve your gods nor worship the image of gold you have set up.” Daniel 3:12
King Nebuchadnezzar was very upset when he was told this:
13Furious with rage, Nebuchadnezzar summoned Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. So these men were brought before the king, 14 and Nebuchadnezzar said to them, “Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the image of gold I have set up? 15 Now when you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipe and all kinds of music, if you are ready to fall down and worship the image I made, very good. But if you do not worship it, you will be thrown immediately into a blazing furnace. Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?”
16 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”
19 Then Nebuchadnezzar was furious with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and his attitude toward them changed. He ordered the furnace heated seven times hotter than usual 20 and commanded some of the strongest soldiers in his army to tie up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and throw them into the blazing furnace. 21 So these men, wearing their robes, trousers, turbans and other clothes, were bound and thrown into the blazing furnace. 22 The king’s command was so urgent and the furnace so hot that the flames of the fire killed the soldiers who took up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, 23 and these three men, firmly tied, fell into the blazing furnace. Daniel 3: 13-23
In our walk to stand in the gap for our spouses, going through a divorce or seemingly unending separation, it often feels like we have been thrown into a blazing furnace. So many things are in turmoil in our lives and the lives of our family. We suffer sadness, depression, loneliness, and heartache. We suffer with financial issues and running a household alone. We suffer from uncertainty, guilt, shame, and abandonment. We feel as though we have been bound because we are powerless to stop a divorce from happening. Yes, it is a blazing furnace of obstacles. A furnace that has been heated 7 times hotter than when we were with our spouses. One could be consumed by it all if one were to give in.
But lets look at what happened with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.
24 Then King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, “Weren’t there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?”
They replied, “Certainly, Your Majesty.”
25 He said, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods.” Daniel 3:24-25
Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego had put their faith in God. They were not going to bow to the demands of the world over God. They were willing to give their lives rather than give in to the suffering sure to come from the blazing furnace. And the fourth person in the furnace, the Son of God, walked with them and protected them.
The God we serve is able to deliver us too. But even if He does not, we must not give in to what the world pushes on us, namely divorcing, moving on, stop praying for restoration or, stop praying for our spouses to return to the Lord. This is part of our furnace, but the Son of God is with us as well.
A standers walk is not easy. It is like being in the furnace. But, like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, if we do not give up on God, we will also walk with God and be unharmed by it all.
Persevere though your furnace through faith in God and prayer. The furnace of divorce or separation cannot harm you when the Son of God is with you.
And do not forget, in the end God saved those who would not give in.
12"But there are some Jews whom you have set over the affairs of the province of Babylon—Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego—who pay no attention to you, Your Majesty. They neither serve your gods nor worship the image of gold you have set up.” Daniel 3:12
King Nebuchadnezzar was very upset when he was told this:
13Furious with rage, Nebuchadnezzar summoned Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. So these men were brought before the king, 14 and Nebuchadnezzar said to them, “Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the image of gold I have set up? 15 Now when you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipe and all kinds of music, if you are ready to fall down and worship the image I made, very good. But if you do not worship it, you will be thrown immediately into a blazing furnace. Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?”
16 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”
19 Then Nebuchadnezzar was furious with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and his attitude toward them changed. He ordered the furnace heated seven times hotter than usual 20 and commanded some of the strongest soldiers in his army to tie up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and throw them into the blazing furnace. 21 So these men, wearing their robes, trousers, turbans and other clothes, were bound and thrown into the blazing furnace. 22 The king’s command was so urgent and the furnace so hot that the flames of the fire killed the soldiers who took up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, 23 and these three men, firmly tied, fell into the blazing furnace. Daniel 3: 13-23
In our walk to stand in the gap for our spouses, going through a divorce or seemingly unending separation, it often feels like we have been thrown into a blazing furnace. So many things are in turmoil in our lives and the lives of our family. We suffer sadness, depression, loneliness, and heartache. We suffer with financial issues and running a household alone. We suffer from uncertainty, guilt, shame, and abandonment. We feel as though we have been bound because we are powerless to stop a divorce from happening. Yes, it is a blazing furnace of obstacles. A furnace that has been heated 7 times hotter than when we were with our spouses. One could be consumed by it all if one were to give in.
But lets look at what happened with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.
24 Then King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, “Weren’t there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?”
They replied, “Certainly, Your Majesty.”
25 He said, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods.” Daniel 3:24-25
Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego had put their faith in God. They were not going to bow to the demands of the world over God. They were willing to give their lives rather than give in to the suffering sure to come from the blazing furnace. And the fourth person in the furnace, the Son of God, walked with them and protected them.
The God we serve is able to deliver us too. But even if He does not, we must not give in to what the world pushes on us, namely divorcing, moving on, stop praying for restoration or, stop praying for our spouses to return to the Lord. This is part of our furnace, but the Son of God is with us as well.
A standers walk is not easy. It is like being in the furnace. But, like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, if we do not give up on God, we will also walk with God and be unharmed by it all.
Persevere though your furnace through faith in God and prayer. The furnace of divorce or separation cannot harm you when the Son of God is with you.
And do not forget, in the end God saved those who would not give in.
Monday, September 24, 2012
When God Seems Silent
There have been many times in my stand for my marriage that I have asked God to speak to me - to let me know that what I am doing is what he wants me to do; to let me know when this will end; to show me a sign that will tell me that progress is being made. Sometimes I do get a response, either through His word, or sometimes through other outward signs like things I see, or in conversations with others. But then there are other times when it is just silent. Either I'm not getting it, or He isn't speaking just yet. It is during those times when my stand has been most challenging. I begin to wonder, "Is this really what my life's purpose is?", "Did I imagine that God gave me this task?", and so on. It is difficult. I have heard from others as well that this happens to them. Of course it does. We are humans. We operate on earthly time, not on God's eternal time. We long to see something, anything, to keep us going. We get to the point where God's promise isn't enough anymore because we aren't used to not knowing when something will happen, or at least not being able to make something happen. We were designed by God to be this way. Maybe so that we can develope trust in Him and Him alone.
An example of a time when someone wasn't being answered by Jesus is found in Matthew 15: 21-28. This is the story of the Canaanite Woman. For historical background, at this time Jesus is turning His focus toward the Gentiles because the Jewish leaders were becoming more strongly opposed to Him. John the Baptist had been beheaded. Jesus fed the 5,000 (proving He could meet the needs of the Jews) and then walked on water (proving Himself once again to be Lord).
Jesus Meets the Canaanite Woman
An example of a time when someone wasn't being answered by Jesus is found in Matthew 15: 21-28. This is the story of the Canaanite Woman. For historical background, at this time Jesus is turning His focus toward the Gentiles because the Jewish leaders were becoming more strongly opposed to Him. John the Baptist had been beheaded. Jesus fed the 5,000 (proving He could meet the needs of the Jews) and then walked on water (proving Himself once again to be Lord).
Jesus Meets the Canaanite Woman
21 Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. 22 A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to Him, crying out, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession.”
23 Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to Him and urged Him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.” 24 He answered, “I was only sent to the lost sheep of Israel.”
25 The woman came and knelt before Him. “Lord, help me!” she said. 26 He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to their dogs.” 27 “Yes, Lord,” she said, “but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.”
27 Then Jesus answered, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed from that very hour.
(Matthew 15: 21-28)
(Matthew 15: 21-28)
Jesus must have known He was going to come in contact with this woman. But why go there just to ignore her? Clearly this woman was not about to give up. What a great example of perseverence. Here was Jesus, whom she knew could give her the miracle she was asking, but He didn't answer her, at first. Here was a Gentile who was convinced that Jesus was the Messiah. The conventional wisdom at this time was that Jesus would not help Gentiles. This woman pushed through that conventional wisdom for the sake of a healing for her daughter. She went against what the world said to do.
Was Jesus' not responding to her test? If so, this woman clearly passed because Jesus ended up responding to her and healing the woman's daughter. Her great faith must have been refreshing to Jesus. She was proclaiming her faith for all to see. Jesus was initially silent, then He provided her miracle because of her faith and He acknowledges her great faith!
The conventional wisdom for those facing a divorce is to "move on". Many do "move on" after initially standing. In remaining to stand for the healing of your marriage and spouse, you are showing God your great faith, even when it seems like He isn't listening. Show Him that you are like the Canaanite woman. Push through the conventional wisdom that God doesn't heal marriages/spouses. Push through the conventional wisdom that we should just move on. Push through the conventional wisdom to find someone new, and better... Push through the conventional wisdom even when it seems like God is silent. Show Him your great faith. He will answer.
The conventional wisdom for those facing a divorce is to "move on". Many do "move on" after initially standing. In remaining to stand for the healing of your marriage and spouse, you are showing God your great faith, even when it seems like He isn't listening. Show Him that you are like the Canaanite woman. Push through the conventional wisdom that God doesn't heal marriages/spouses. Push through the conventional wisdom that we should just move on. Push through the conventional wisdom to find someone new, and better... Push through the conventional wisdom even when it seems like God is silent. Show Him your great faith. He will answer.
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